Creating a New Order for Your Life
Creating a new order for your life
The structure has gone, now what?
Priorities will be different, they deserve to be addressed and reset
Whether you are excited about retirement or not, what is true is that you will be creating a new order to your life. The structure that you are used to will be gone.
What will replace it?
I like really full days, so for me I really had to look at what I wanted my days to be filled with. I thought about what I wanted to be able to do that I hadn’t been able to, or had enough of, during my career days.
The first thing that came to mind is that I love to read and used to fall asleep after reading just a few pages at night, so I knew I wanted to have more quiet time when I could sit and enjoy a good book. When I retired this time I made sure I had plenty of time to just sit and read We have a lovely patio with some comfortable furniture so I was able to put my feet up, have the dog by my feet, and read, read, read. I read more books in my first few months than I had in the previous couple of years.
We have only one real shot at liberation, and that is to emancipate ourselves from within. Colette Dowling
The next thing that I thought of was yoga. I have enjoyed the practice of yoga as a form of exercise and always feel good after a session, but had to limit it to evenings and weekends, so I wanted to be able to do that in the mornings or the middle of the day. What a treat it was to be able to do that – at first it really felt like a guilty pleasure to be taking the time at 11:00 am to put down my mat and focus internally. The pandemic made it easier because everything went online, including my favorite teachers. Now that there are more in-person yoga classes again, I am thinking of switching back, but online is so convenient. We’ll see.
One of the things I have heard people talk about in their retirement is having a hobby. I have never been much of a hobby person. I did some needlework pictures and made some of my own clothes when I was in my twenties, but other than that, I just never got into anything. Then I heard about a series of 3 lessons on how to play the game of Mah Jongg, I had heard of it, knew that you used tiles instead of cards, was played a lot by Jewish housewives in New York, but that was the extent of my knowledge. I decided that I now had time to at least look into it, so I signed up. I now play twice a week, once during the day, and once in the evening, and I often get calls to be a substitute if someone can’t play on another day.
The best thing about getting older for me is never having to wear high-heeled shoes again! Jan Owen
I am lucky to have really good friends, some that I have had a very long time, others who are new, and now I get to enjoy sitting over a long lunch or a walk along the beach with them during the day, during the week.
Like a lot of people, I also like to be able to do things on the spur of the moment. Retirement gives me the freedom that the rigid structure of work didn’t. Being spontaneous used to be a rarity. If I took a breath, I had to think about what was the next most important task on the list that had to be accomplished. Today, my husband and I sometimes take off for the day. In the middle of the week. Freedom indeed.
Because I tend to be a workaholic, I counteract that tendency by putting these fun and community things as a priority, and then look for the spaces around them to be my work time, rather than the other way around. I also am self-employed and I could very easily be back to working 50-60 hours a week, but then I would start to resent it and it wouldn’t be so much fun any more.
You may prefer to block time in a particular way rather than the more flexible approach I use. For instance, if you are intending to work part time, you may want to make 8:00 – 12:00 am Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday as your work time. That kind of certainty and regularity might work for you.
Depending on your work situation, there may be a specific schedule that is needed. If you are looking to continue your career but want to work less, then it needs to be designed to fit your life as you envision it. When I still had my management consulting career, I met two women partners at a San Francisco consulting firm who smiled a lot. In December of each year, they would take out their calendars for the following year and before any other consideration, they marked off the 6 weeks of vacation they would be taking that year. It sounded bold and un-doable, but it worked. They were busy and their clients had role models for how to be successful and love it – rather than being burnt out. So think through how and when and how long you want to work each day, week, month and year. You can make it work.
As women, so many of us have learned, and become adept at taking care of everyone else and at work we think our livelihoods depend on doing that well. Here’s another story.
A man had sold his company and was looking to start another one. He did the thinking suggested here and decided that he was going to have a successful company within 2 years, that he would not start work until 10:00 in the morning; would not take meetings until 1:00 pm, and he would only work three days a week. At first his staff were very skeptical and tried to book meetings in the morning, call him early in the morning, etc. He stuck his ground and indeed within two years he had met the goals he had set for his business.
None of us suddenly becomes something overnight. The preparations have been in the making for a lifetime. Gail Godwin
Several other business people I know keep Fridays for catch-up office work. When I decided to run for political office I knew from talking to other elected officials that I needed to maintain some good self-care otherwise I would be a candidate for getting sick. A couple of those I talked to told me they had become sick from the strain of their campaigns, so there was reason for me to take note. I set my days up so that 6:00 am to 10:00 am each morning was my time. This is when I exercised, meditated, journaled, and took time with friends. There were only 1 or 2 occasions that I had to break that because of public appearances beyond my control.
Are you an early riser? Or a night owl? During most of my working life I rose early because that is what was both needed and expected. I would sleep in on weekends when I could, and on vacations would often enjoy late nights followed by late awakenings the next morning. Today my schedule is a little more relaxed because I sometimes am awake and busy at 2 – 4 am, but then I can sleep in later those mornings and still get enough sleep.
I have order in my life and a structure that meets my need for flexibility and variety. I have never been happier. I often sit on my patio in the afternoon and smile as I savor the joy that bubbles up.
However you structure your day, create a routine that works for you. This will help you feel you have a purpose and will get you up in the morning with a smile on your face. Creating a new order of things, a rhythm for your life is calming and comforting.
The most important thing is to try and enjoy life – because you never know when it will be gone. If you wake up in the morning and you have a choice between doing the laundry and taking a walk in the park, go for the walk. You’d hate to die and realize you had spent your last day doing the laundry! Christine Lee, 67
When you are ready to tackle questions like when and where to retire, there are ways we can help. We have Feisty & Fearless Over Fifty Circles and Personal, one-on-one coaching.
With membership in Feisty & Fearless Over Fifty Circles, and with Personal Coaching you will
Identify just what you want your retirement to look like
Relief from the uncertainty of retirement
Effective tools and information to move forward
Questions that may seem intense, and will bring forth transformative answers
Tasks to take on between each session to help you achieve the results you are looking for
Build a life of joy, fulfillment and satisfaction
A roadmap for Living the Good Life
If you would like to find out more and set up a free, initial call, send me an email at pfield@coach4women.com
